I am not trying to be smart or fancy by the use of those two words. This is genuinely, what I have had to achieve within myself most recently. ⁣⁣
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Having been very poorly and unable to exercise, including run or yoga for TWO WHOLE WEEKS (for reference, this is the longest time in around 2 years), It has made me feel a little fraudulent with my identity, or perhaps for want of a better phrase ‘a little lost within myself’. ⁣⁣
But hear me out – it is not ALL negative!
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Now, initially the loss of running and exercise as a whole was difficult, and always has been. I run to live a happier, more positive life don’t forget – and for me running is crucial for the stability of my well being and mental health. Normally I’d be climbing the walls for a fix of my dopamine and endorphins by day 4, but this time around I have been much calmer. ⁣⁣
During this past fortnight I have had sudden pangs, or thoughts that: ‘𝐈 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐬𝐨 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐲 𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠!’ – which granted, have lasted a measly few seconds, but it is long enough to leave a lasting pondering in my mind. It has been so so hard to come back following London Marathon, which I now understand was a far more taxing event upon my body and nervous system than I realised it to be. Just as I was making headway with running and fitness I came down with this sickness, and so I feel like I’m a long way away from the runner I was during the height of Marathon Training. But then I remember, that this is a different season right now, and it’s okay not to be in A Game Shape – and there will most definitely be plans of returning to that place again this year, but all in good time. I am ok with that – 𝘈𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦.⁣⁣
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This time off has been a blessing in disguise, I am grateful for the time at which it came, and I realise now it has been very important to me. Thanks to this extra time, I have been able to put together some plans and material for something I soon to fabricate into reality MY VERY OWN PODCAST and it is so very exciting! I have learnt, incredulously, that there is something else that brings me almost the same joy as my two flying feet that pound the pavement and trails, though on a different level. WOW! what a finding this has been, and very unexpected – and the vision is bigger than Running and my sense of identity, or any validation I could find through this pastime – 𝘛𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦. ⁣⁣

Something great is happening, and I can see it coming!